Since becoming single again, the social networking sites that I am a member of have been displaying advertisements for various online dating sites. I am calling this phenomenon Social Profiling.
I have seen ads on my Facebook and Myspace pages for sites ranging from Match.com and Chemistry.com to sites for something as specific as single parents and Christians. While it is common knowledge that these networking sites do use the information you provide to "cater" their advertisements to each user, I have personally found these particular ads to be rather callous and disturbing. For example, one ad featured a woman on her webcam seemingly looking at me. Others have played on the fact that I am still single despite the fact I have many friends. Still others infer that I am still single because I am a single parent.
Today, I met my boiling point with these ads. Shortly after blocking such ads on my Facebook page, it occurred to me that society, in general, profiles those of us who find ourselves in singledom again. It is a common misconception that we are single because something is wrong with us, that we have found ourselves in unfamiliar territory because we are damaged goods, that we did something wrong. This misconception is especially applied to men. Personally, I constantly feel like I am being judged (i.e. profiled) when I am in a public place, especially a place with people with whom I have some acquaintance. Is this judgment real or imagined? I suspect it is some of both; however, I do know that I have received looks from passers-by or acquaintances that have lingered a little too long, as if they are trying to figure out what went wrong.
Too bad turning the looks off isn't as easy as blocking some online dating ads.
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I knew that would make a good blog post.
ReplyDeleteAs a marketing/communication student, I have learned how to use the Facebook advertising tools. It is amazing how focused you can make your ads. This power can be used for good or evil.
I too get "webcam girl" ads, even though I am listed as engaged on my profile. I guess I'm just getting the ads because I'm a man, regardless of my relationship status.
I think you're right about real-life social profiling. In my communication theory class, we learned about uncertainty reduction theory. Basically people want to reduce uncertainty about other people. I think when something major happens in our lives it shakes up others' perceptions of us and so they try, as you said, to figure out what's wrong ... in order to reduce uncertainty.